I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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