What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
