no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
