bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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