well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
the liver wants what the liver wants
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize