I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
