theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
