so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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