She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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