The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
