he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
