What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
