my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
