I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
