Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
