just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
