he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
