talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
There are leaves in my underwear?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
