all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
