like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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