Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
