just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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