K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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