i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you win again, gameday.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
