Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
