'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
