well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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