our cab driver is having phone sex.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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