i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
