No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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