why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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