it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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