well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
