I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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