Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
