This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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