you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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