I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
