I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
