i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
