Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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