i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
