someone owes me an orgasm
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
