We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
