RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
