so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
