It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
