do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
