i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
