What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
