The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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