It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
