____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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