Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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