She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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