Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
