on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
