the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
