There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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