i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
